.Publisher's Note: The adhering to is actually the content of a letter coming from Expedition 3 Leader Frank L. Culbertson (Captain, USN Retired), reassessing the activities of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I haven't created very much concerning specifics of this goal in the course of the month I've been actually here, mainly for 2 explanations: the first being that there has actually been actually incredibly little bit of opportunity to perform that sort of creating, as well as furthermore, given that I'm unsure exactly how comfortable I am discussing thoughts I show to family and friends with the remainder of the globe.Properly, obviously the world changed today. What I claim or perform is actually extremely small reviewed to the value of what occurred to our country today when it was struck through ... by whom? Revolutionaries is actually all we understand, I guess. Challenging to recognize at whom to route our anger as well as fear ...I had merely ended up an amount of activities this morning, the absolute most lengthy being actually the physical examinations of all crew members. In an exclusive chat complying with that, the air travel specialist informed me they were possessing a really bad day on the ground. I possessed no idea ...He described the situation to me as ideal he recognized it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was thrown for a loop, then frightened. My first thought and feelings was actually that this had not been an actual conversation, that I was actually still listening to among my Tom Clancy strips. It merely really did not appear feasible on this scale in our nation. I could not also envision the particulars, also prior to the updates of more devastation began coming in.Vladimir dropped in fairly rapidly, sensing that something quite severe was being actually gone over. I swayed Michael in to the module as well. They were additionally blown away as well as stunned. After our company signed off, I attempted to detail to Vladimir and also Michael as ideal I could possibly the prospective measurement of this particular act of fear in downtown New york and also at the Government. They precisely understood and also were very considerate.I eyed the Planet Map on the personal computer to find where over the planet we were actually and also discovered that our experts were actually happening southeast away from Canada as well as will be actually overlooking New England in a few mins. I whized around the terminal up until I located a home window that would provide me a sight of NYC and ordered the nearest camera. It took place to be a video camera, as well as I was actually looking southern coming from the window of Michael's cabin.The smoke cigarettes appeared to have a strange blossom to it at the bottom of the pillar that was streaming south of the city. After going through among the news articles our experts just acquired, I feel our experts were considering NY around the moment of, or even quickly after, the collapse of the 2nd tower. How horrible ...I panned the cam during the East Coastline to the south to view if I could see every other smoke around Washington, or anywhere else, but absolutely nothing was visible.It was actually fairly difficult to think about job after that, though our experts possessed some to perform, yet on the following orbit we moved across the United States more south. All three of us were functioning a couple of cameras to try to obtain scenery of The big apple or Washington. There was fog over Washington, but no specific source might be viewed. Everything looked fabulous coming from a couple of hundred miles away. I can't think of the heartbreaking settings on the ground.Aside from the emotional impact of our country being actually tackled as well as lots of our consumers and possibly some pals being actually eliminated, one of the most overwhelming feeling being where I am is one of isolation.Following day ... I guess the exhaustion and mental stress got the most ideal of me. I couldn't keep awake and remain to compose. Today was actually still challenging, however our team started obtaining more info, plus our company had the tribute of speaking directly with the Center Supervisor, Roy Estess, who ensured us that the ground staffs will continue to operate and ensure our safety and security, and also the risk-free function of the Place. Our company also spoke with our Supervisor, Mr. Goldin, that included that the partners in the Plan are actually all completely devoted to continuing safe procedures and also assistance. These were never concerns for me. I understand all these individuals! The ground crews have been extremely supporting, very understanding of the influence of the updates, as well as have tried to be as beneficial as possible. They have all been actually extremely professional as well as focused though I can't envision the diversion of this particular sort of updates coming in and the idea that authorities structures could be at risk. They certainly never missed a beat, even when relocating control centers. As well as a group of senior employees and also close friends gave our company a pretty extensive briefing about what was actually recognized and also what was actually being actually carried out in the federal government and at NASA on Tuesday afternoon, which was actually quite valuable and type of them to do in the middle of all the chaos. The Russian TsUP has additionally been encouraging and beneficial, making an effort to uplink news articles when our very own possessions were unusable, as well as claiming kind terms ...My crewmates have been actually terrific, also. They know it is actually been actually a hard time for me as well as the people on the ground, and they've tried to be as even keeled and also beneficial as possible. Michael also fixed me my favorite Borscht soup for supper. And they provide me a lot of room to presume when I required it. They are actually really sympathetic and also obviously outraged at whoever would certainly perform this.I know so many individuals in Washington, a lot of folks who journey to DC as well as NYC, so many that are captains, that I felt sure I will receive a minimum of a few items of bad news over the next few days. I obtained the very first one today when I discovered that the Leader of the American Airlines jet that reached the Government was actually Chic Burlingame, a schoolmate of mine. I met Chic throughout cadet summertime when our team resided in the D&B with each other, and also our team possessed great deals of classes with each other. I can not envision what he has to of gone through, as well as right now I hear that he may have increased better than our company may even think about through potentially preventing his aircraft coming from being the one to deal with the White Home. What a dreadful loss, however I'm sure Chic was combating fearlessly to the end. As well as rips don't flow the exact same precede ...It is actually difficult to illustrate how it experiences to become the only United States entirely off the planet each time like this. The sensation that I should exist with all of you, coping with this, helping in some way, is mind-boggling. I recognize that our company are on the limit (or even beyond) of a terrible switch in the past of the world. A lot of traits will certainly never coincide once more after September 11, 2001. Not just for the 1000s as well as 1000s of individuals straight impacted by these horrendous actions of violence, but possibly for all of us. Our company will locate our own selves feeling differently about loads of traits, including most likely space exploration, unfortunately.It's awful to see smoke putting from injuries in your own country coming from such an excellent point of view. The duality of being on a space capsule devoted to enhancing everyday life on the planet as well as seeing lifestyle being destroyed by such conscious, horrendous acts is jolting to the subconscious, no matter who you are. And also the expertise that whatever will be different than when we launched by the time our experts land is actually a little disconcerting. I have confidence in our nation and in our management that our experts are going to carry out whatever possible to much better guard her and also our family members, as well as to bring justice of what has been performed. I have self-confidence that the great individuals at NASA will certainly carry out every thing essential to continue our mission properly as well as return us safely at the correct time. And also I skip all of you significantly. I can not exist along with you personally, as well as our experts have a long way to visit accomplish our purpose, however be actually particular that my soul is actually along with you, and understand you are in my petitions.Submissively, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An improve to the final character ... Thankfully, it is actually been a hectic full week up listed below. As well as to prove that, like our nation, our team are continuing on our desired road along with organization as usual (as much as achievable). Tonight the most up to date addition to the place, the Russian Docking Area will be introduced coming from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Sunday evening (US opportunity), it is going to dock along with us, at a slot never ever utilized prior to on the low point edge of the Service Module. This brand-new module will certainly give our company one more location to dock a Progress or even Soyuz and are going to give a big airlock with two able to be used hatches for administering EVA's in Russian Orlan satisfies, which our company will do a few of prior to we come home.The issue before in handling this week was insufficient information. The complication right now is actually a lot of. It arrived at one time when e-mail was restored, and there's not enough time to review everything! Plus it is actually too challenging to handle all of it simultaneously. However I value acquiring it, and also I definitely enjoy the wonderful letters of assistance and also friendship I am actually acquiring.Our team are actually prospering on board, obtaining our work done, and also discussing factors. Final evening our company had a long conversation over dinner concerning the value of these activities, the achievable activities to follow, as well as what need to be actually performed. After dinner, Michael made a point of telling me that every email he acquired from friends in Russia mentioned particularly to tell me exactly how regretful they were that this taken place, prolonging their acknowledgements, as well as talking to just how I was actually doing. Vladimir taught me the Russian phrase for "condolences" after speaking to the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Superstar Metropolitan area. (Both the Russian as well as the English phrases are actually much very long to pronounce simply.) Extremely types people.For the last pair of times, the Russian MCC has sufficed to transmit online shows of radio information about the activity and connected accounts, to see to it I was properly notified. Every professional who has actually come on the line to discuss a method or even a problem contends some aspect expanded hellos to me along with kind words. Tonight the Russian capcom told our team that as a result of the wedding day of remembrance in the US, throughout the day people had been bringing blossoms and lining all the wall structures of the United States consulate in Moscow, and also this night they were actually igniting candles in the street outside the embassy. Just how the planet has actually modified.Folks everywhere appear to recognize the senselessness as well as terror in this strike. As well as the enormous loss. Moscow has actually coped with these sort of issues in the final handful of years with house and metro bombings, so they are actually as troubled to do away with this hazard as our team are actually. Yet all-time low product line is that there are great people everywhere who desire to reside in peace. I read that a little one talked to, "United States is thus great to various other nations, we regularly help everyone, exactly how can they detest our team so much?".I really hope the example of collaboration and trust that this space capsule plus all the people in the plan show daily will someday encourage the rest of the globe to function similarly. They must!However, our company will not be actually flying over the United States during the time individuals are actually igniting candle lights. Don't understand if our team might view that in any case. Our team performed, having said that, observe a quite unique and gorgeous sight a few minutes ago: the launch of our Docking Compartment on a Soyuz enhancer. Our team were overtaking it and it appeared regarding three minutes after its launch from Baikonur as the sunshine hit our station, so it was actually still unaware. It seemed like a large comet along with a directly, large rear silhouetted versus the black world under. Even with some negative lights for a while as the sunlight struck our home window at a low viewpoint, I dealt with some video of it as initially we passed the spacecraft, and after that saw it begin to mesmerize as it gained height and speed. I recorded till primary motor deadline as well as booster splitting up took place just like our experts moved toward dawn on the Mountain ranges. A memorable attraction in a memorable full week ...Lifestyle happens, even in space. Our experts are actually listed below to keep ... Frank.